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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia
She whispered, "They're right behind you"
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
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I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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