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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia
She whispered, "They're right behind you"
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I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare
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What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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