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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia
She whispered, "They're right behind you"
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My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to check their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
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