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What animal makes buildings?
Boa constructor
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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
Suture self.
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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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Smoking will kill you...Bacon will kill you...
But, smoking bacon will cure it.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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