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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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I'm trying to get my son into books.
But no authors want to write about him.
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Tom Cruise made a movie about cooking.
It's called A Few Good Menus.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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What color do cats like best?
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