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Wife: I thought we agreed on three beers and be home by ten.
Husband: I'm sorry, honey, I always get those two mixed up.
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What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
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My Dad told me to invest in the airplane market soon.
It's about to take off.
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Two atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!" The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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