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Kids: So, how are you liking your cell phone? Kid: Mom? Kid: Why aren't you answering?
Mom: Howdoyoudoaspace
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I just found out my girlfriend gave me an STD
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The clouds parted and a voice thundered, "Come forth, and you'll receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, so he just got a toaster.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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