The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy

Previous Dates

0

What do you call a bear with no ears?

6

I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.

2

One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments.

0

What was wrong with the wooden car?

-1

What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?

0

What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

0

Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad?

0

What do you call a very crusty egg?

1

Want to know why nurses like red crayons?

0

Did you hear about the angry pancake?

0

Where do mice park their boats?

0

Why didn't the dog want to wrestle?

0

9 months isn't really that long

0

If I ever go to Prison, I'm gonna change my name to Mitochondria

0

A photon checks into a hotel, and the bellhop says, "Can I get your bags for you?"

1

My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

0

My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.

2

What has two butts and kills people?

0

A guy asked me if I wanted to donate for a swimmin pool..

1

Mary had a little lamb.

0

Where do mansplainers get their water?

0

Out boss just banned overly specific nicknames

0

My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.

0

Cannibals aren’t very sociable.

0

I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless...

0

The garbage man looks sad.

-1

What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?

0

In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.

0

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination?

0

What time did the man go to the dentist?

0

My girlfriend just asked me what state was below Tennessee...