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What did the undertaker say when he realized he'd buried the wrong coffin?
I've made a grave mistake
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Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
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How is Christmas like another day at the office?
Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit!
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What do you call peanuts with guns?
Packing Peanuts
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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