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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
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Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
They peak.
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Do you know what’s cool?
Winter.
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My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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