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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
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Why did the Mexican take some Xanax?
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I'm a parent, so I'm always right. There was one time I thought I was wrong.
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I would like to thank my hands.
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?

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