The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

2

I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.

Previous Dates

0

Dad, what's a forklift?

0

I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

1

What do you call bears with no ears?

0

I bought my friend an elephant for her room.

0

My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.

0

At any given moment, the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”

0

What do Romanians do when they're tired?

0

Shout out to my grandma.

0

Did you hear about the fight in the chip shop?

0

Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?

0

Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

0

The iPhone vs Android debate has to stop!

0

What are a communist's favorite units of time?

5

People say that I am self-centred

0

My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid

0

When you go to bed you may be American

0

I gave all my dead batteries away today…

0

Want to hear a joke about pee?

-2

Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

1

My dad bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.

0

Why did the elephant leave the circus?

0

I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory

0

Why was it called the Dark Ages?

0

What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?

0

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.

0

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.

0

I'm trying to get my son into books.

0

Why can't dogs play video games?

1

What do you call leftover lettuce?

1

A good romance starts with a good friendship. A bad romance on the other hand starts with...

0

I have always wondered what it would be like to use a professional telescope.