Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar?
They both got 6 months.
A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy.
But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.
I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”
I said “Not likely, I mean what are the odds of two of them being in the same car?”