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My girlfriend really changed when she became vegan.
It was like I had never seen herbivore.
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Why are Russian cars so terrible?
Because no matter what gear they get Putin, they seem to always be Stalin..
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Dad: someone here is possessed by an Owl. Son: Who?
Dad: mhmm I guess we found out.
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I'm not fat.
Just horizontally tall.
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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?
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