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I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite,
but I ended up picking 7 Up.
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What did the calculator say to the depressed student?
You can count on me young man.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
Because it's just two-tired.
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I ate a clock last week.
I had difficulty passing time.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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