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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
Suture self.
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Shout out to whoever first came up with the idea to shred cheese.
It was a grate idea.
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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.
This is because concrete floors are really hard.
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What does the clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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