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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
Suture self.
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My girlfriend really changed when she became vegan.
It was like I had never seen herbivore.
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Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar?
They both got 6 months.
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I was asked at an interview what my weakness is. I replied "I'm too honest". The interviewer said "I don't consider honesty a weakness".
I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"
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Can I watch the TV?
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