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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
Suture self.
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I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.”
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook...
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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