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What does a turtle do on their birthday?
They shellabrate
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Somebody just gave me a free air guitar
No strings attached.
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I recently sold my vacuum cleaner..
..all it was doing was gathering dust.
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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
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You know what actually makes me smile?
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