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When you go to bed you may be American
But when you wake up late for work you’re Russian!
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Altoids?
He made a mint.
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I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said "Earth."
That meant the world to me.
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One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"
The potato responds "I yam."
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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