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When you go to bed you may be American
But when you wake up late for work you’re Russian!
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I used to hate facial hair
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A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.
He charged one and let the other one off.
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I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome.
It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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