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My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
Because it was a fun guy.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
A kiwi in an elevator.
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Why couldn't the computer take his hat off?
Because his caps lock was on.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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