The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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What's the difference between "comma" and "coma"?

Previous Dates

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Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?

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What training do you need to become a garbage collector

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Here are two short jokes and a long joke:

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What do Alexander the Great, Winnie the Pooh, and Chance the Rapper have in common?

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What do you call someone who tells Dad jokes, but isn't a Dad?

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What I if told you

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I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore

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Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?

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My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.

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I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessive–compulsive disorder.

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There are 10 types of people:

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What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?

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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.

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"Dad, will the pizza be long?"

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What do you call a happy rabbit?

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“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”

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To all the people out there suffering with paranoia just remember

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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Bumblebee. Bumblebee who?

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Who is bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?

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What word starts with "e", ends with "e", and only has one letter in it?

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I used to hate facial hair

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What does the farmer say after digging a hole so deep it reaches underground water?

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What did the flower say to the bicycle?

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Who cleans the ocean?

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I have a joke about time travel

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Have you heard about the new movie Constipation?

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What do Romanians do when they're tired?

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A skeleton walks into a bar

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What do cows tell each other at bedtime?

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Doctor: I'm sorry sir, but you have colon cancer...