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Doctor: I'm sorry sir, but you have colon cancer...
Me: No: I don:t believe you:
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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?
Because it hertz your ears!
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What did the painter do when it got cold...
He put on another coat
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Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Rings.
Guess I was Tolkien in my sleep.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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