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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
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Patient: Doc, I don't believe that peanuts are fattening.
Doctor: Well, have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.
He dyed on impact.
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My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?
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