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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
I don't know. I'm still paying for it.
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What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
“Some asshole has my pen.”
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What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?
A homebody.
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What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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