Whenever I go to a Apple Store, I feel like a three year old at a candy shop.
I can’t afford anything.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Wife: I thought we agreed on three beers and be home by ten.
Husband: I'm sorry, honey, I always get those two mixed up.