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Never, ever invest in Velcro....
It's a total rip-off
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My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
Because it's just two-tired.
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Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Kid: No, he did it all by himself!
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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