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My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
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Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
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At any given moment, the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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