The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

2

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends. So she said I was useless in bed.

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So, I try to eat healthy

4

My wife told me that my botanical garden was so expensive that it was preventing us from starting a family. She said I can either have a hobby...

3

Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.