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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I used to get heartburn whenever I ate birthday cake...
... until the doctor told me to take the candles off first!
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What do you call a bee from America?
A USB
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Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
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Why do the riot police always arrive early to protests?
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