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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I was caught by a gang of mimes.
They performed unspeakable acts on me...
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Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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I really hate the direction my country is moving...
but I don't really understand tectonic shift so not a whole lot I can do about it.
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You have to act quickly during a flood.
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