The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

My wife and I share the same sense of humour.

Previous Dates

0

What has two legs and flies?

0

An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?

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My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.

0

What do you call an apology sent via Morse Code?

0

If you are out in the forest all by yourself and a bear charges you, what should you do?

0

Being a great father is like shaving.

1

My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"

0

My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

0

What are a communist's favorite units of time?

0

I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

1

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

5

Someone asked if there is a local chess club?

0

Me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000 Her: sure

0

What does a didgeridoo?

0

My wife gave birth to our child today. Everything went well, the baby is healthy and I'm very happy

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How does a butcher introduce his wife?

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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.

1

Never become an archaeologist

0

Burned my Hawaiian pizza today,

0

What did the DJ name his newborn son?

0

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

0

I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite,

0

Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

0

Did you know trees can do math?

0

What time did the man go to the dentist?

0

Living on earth is expensive

0

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.

0

What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?

0

Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!

0

Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

0

What do you call a careful wolf ?