The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

Previous Dates

1

If you bury someone in the wrong place,

1

I lost a boxing match with a pirate.

0

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.

0

Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you.

0

You know why I like egg puns?

0

I just realized Vampires don't exist in Africa.

0

I used to be indecisive

0

Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?

0

What kind of tea you drink with the Queen?

-1

I'm a walking economy. My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,

0

My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.

0

Migraines aren't real.

0

I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia

0

What do you call Santa’s helpers?

0

My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.

0

Considering getting my circumcision reversed.

0

How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?

2

Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

0

For years, my parents sent me to a child psychologist.

1

I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.

0

Although my friend has a lot of hair, he’s paranoid about going bald.

0

What did 0 say to 8?

0

The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

0

Knock-knock! Who's there? Cheetahs. Cheetahs who?

1

Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?

0

After a few years, talked with my ex-wife and she still misses me

0

Did you hear about the angry pancake?

9

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

0

What do you call a grandfather clock?

0

Where do you take somebody that has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?

0

I bet none of you will see this one coming