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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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"Sergeant! Sergeant! The troops are revolting!"
"Well, you're no prize pig yourself."
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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My son said "Look! I'm a 3D printer!"
I told him to shut the toilet door when he poops.
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What do you call a happy rabbit?
A hoptimist
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I went to a strip club for blind people
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