The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?

Previous Dates

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I haven’t slept for three days

0

Who decided to call them “murder hornets”

1

I recently decided to learn sign language...

-3

Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.

1

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

0

Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?

9

People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic

2

What do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed?

0

How many lips does a flower have

0

I forgot where I threw my boomerang.

0

Where do you take somebody that has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?

0

What do you call fake potatoes?

2

If there’s a line of gay people, it’s not a straight line...

0

My grandfather was an honorable, brave man. He had the heart of a lion,

0

My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.

0

What did fridge say when asked 'any hot drinks?'?

0

My friend David just lost his ID.

0

How do priests stay fit?

0

Knock-knock! Who's there? Desdemona. Desdemona who?

0

Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

0

Can I watch the TV?

0

Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

1

I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.

0

What happens when you don’t pay the priest for your exorcism?

0

Broken guitar for sale.

0

What jokes are allowed during lockdown?

0

How does a cup hang a picture?

0

I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."

0

I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today

-1

My son told me, “Dad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.”

0

What do you call a guy who brings your daughter home late?