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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
Why don't English rugby players get vaccinated before touring?
They never catch anything.
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Previous Dates
7
I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
It was a bit Chewie
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0
Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
“OH MY GOD, A BUS!!!!!”
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6
What's the difference between a guitar, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
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0
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
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0
I'm a 50-year old with the body of a 35-year old
I really need to get rid of it before the cops find me!
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0
Why is honey good for you?
It’s full of Bee vitamins.
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0
When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly leave the house.
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0
If you had a bisexual son, wouldn't he just be called a...
... bison
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0
I changed my iPod name to Titanic.
It’s syncing now.
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0
On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked what gifts they might bring.
The yogi replied, 'I wish for no gifts, only presence."
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0
My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
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0
Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for christmas...
It's big red flag
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1
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybe
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1
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.
We have to....She doesn't have one.
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0
I think i might be addicted to dough,
I don't just want it, I knead it.
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1
I have joke about left-handers.
The only issue is I’m having trouble finding the right audience.
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1
Why is the ocean salty?
Because the land never waves back
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0
What do you call a tea that looks really good?
A hottie
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0
Dad : “I need to call the doctor today.” Mom : “Which doctor?”
Dad : “No, the regular kind.”
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0
I connot belive that bacteria would just come in my body without my permision
It makes me sick
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0
How do you correctly compliment a dad joke?
Dads a good joke!
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0
I changed my iPhone name to Titanic.
It’s syncing now.
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0
My daughter thinks I’m overprotective and nosy
At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.
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0
Why did the archaeologist have a breakdown?
His career was in ruins.
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0
I'm taking part in a stair climbing competition.
Guess I better step up my game.
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0
I went to a strip club for blind people
The girls there were dancing like nobody was watching
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0
What fish tastes best with peanut butter...
Jellyfish.
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0
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
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1
Don't spell part backwards
It's a trap
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-1
Many people have decent hand-eye coordination.
But pirates have good eye-eye coordination.
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0
I was surprised to find a spider at my office
I didn’t know we had any web developers
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Joke of the Day
Why don't English rugby players get vaccinated before touring?
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