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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
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I use to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
But then i turned myself around.
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I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
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“Dad, can you call mom’s phone? She can’t find it.”
“Absolutely! ‘Mom’s phone! Mom’s phone!’”
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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