The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

You have to act quickly during a flood.

Previous Dates

0

What makes more noise than a T-rex?

0

My friend bit off his tongue.

0

Why don’t crabs donate?

0

My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.

1

How do you know if a sniper likes you?

0

Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.

0

What did the ex of Ed Sheeran do?

0

What is black and white and sits on a swing?

0

What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up?

0

What type of people never get angry?

0

What do ducks smoke?

0

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

0

My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.

0

I don’t know why people have a problem with wigs.

1

I’m terrified of elevators…

1

My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.”

0

Keep the Earth clean.

1

Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

9

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

6

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

6

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

9

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

6

I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.