Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
I was kidnapped by mimes once
They did unspeakable things to me.
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
What makes more noise than a T-rex?
Two T-rex
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Frequent nap taking slows the aging process.
Especially if you take them when you are driving.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too High
She looked surprised.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What did the vegetarian say to the doctor?
I feel good from my head tomatoes.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What is cold and stands under a street lamp?
A frostitute.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.
They cut it from the script because it was too much of a buzzkill.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My son thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at his face.
REVEAL ANSWER
5
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
He needed space.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why does the new iPhone 11 Max look like a stove top?
Because Tim cooks
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I really want to buy one of the grocery checkout dividers
but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Don't trust atoms.
They make up everything!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have little antibodies.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
The workweek is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says
WTF
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?
He kept throwing away all the candies that had W's on them.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I just watched a video of a drill.
It was a bit boring.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What happens when a llama gets on top of you?
You get llaminated
REVEAL ANSWER
1
My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".
So I'm wearing his, because good dads listen.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why couldn’t the duck cross the road?
Because he got his foot stuck in a quack.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I was fired from a bank.
When a woman asked me to check her balance, I pushed her over.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
A shoplifter stole an entire case of red bull from my store
I don’t know how he sleeps at night
REVEAL ANSWER
1
My wife asked me if I thought our kids were spoiled
I said "No, I think all kids smell like that"
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What type of music should you listen to when fishing?
Something catchy.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What does a house wear?
Address
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
"Where's Popcorn?"
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What do you call a pony with a soar throat?
A little hoarse.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
...
78
79
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
I was kidnapped by mimes once
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close
1
1
