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Reporter: How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?
Company owner: It's simple. I have 100 employees, and 99 free parking spaces outside. The other one costs $50 a day.
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What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?
Igloo.
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Father: I know what's causing your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.
Kid: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.
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Why did it take Russia so long to invade Germany?
They were Stalin.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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