Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
Shout out to whoever first came up with the idea to shred cheese.
It was a grate idea.
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
My first job was a running shoe company; I tried but I just couldn't fit in.
Then, I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
A trophy.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
June’s over?
Julyin
REVEAL ANSWER
0
You have to act quickly during a flood.
Because it's an emergent sea.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
You can be as kind as you want...
but German kids are always Kinder.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Why do the riot police always arrive early to protests?
Because they like to beat the crowd.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What has two legs and flies?
Mike Pence.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I dated a twin once...
I once dated a twin. My friend asked me how I told them apart. I said Stacy has a beauty mark on her right cheek. And Frank has a beard.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
Bored.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
He said, "Well, that was a fluke."
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Dad, I'm hungry!
Hi Hungry, I'm dad!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a grandfather clock?
An old timer!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Me and my wife were perfectly happy for 28 years
And then we met each other.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Albert Einstein was a genius but
his brother Frank was a true monster
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why was six afraid of seven
Because seven was a well known six offender
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Just found out that Aaaargghhh is not a real word.
Can’t tell you how angry I am at this.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it
REVEAL ANSWER
6
My son asked me what procrastinate meant.
I said I'd tell him later
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey.
But then I turned myself down.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What do you call a slow moving poop?
A turdle.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo jeans.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
I scared my neighbor with my new power tool
I said, “Don’t be alarmed, this is just a drill!”
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a very crusty egg?
Eggzema
REVEAL ANSWER
12
What do you call a nose with no body?
No body nose!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife left me because I’m too insecure
No wait, she’s back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why does wally wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I just sold my vacuum...
All it was doing was collecting dust!!
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
...
70
71
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
Shout out to whoever first came up with the idea to shred cheese.
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close
