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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
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Why did the cat run away from the tree?
Because of its bark
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I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
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My wife and I decided not to have kids.
The kids are taking it pretty hard.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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