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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
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What kind of tea do hockey players drink?
Penaltea.
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What did Beethoven become after he died?
A decomposer.
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“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
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Just burned my Hawaiian pizza.
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