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My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
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I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
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How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.
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Why do most married men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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