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A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
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I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend but I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
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So dotting "i's" is one thing...
But crossing "t's"? That's where I draw the line.
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Why did it take Russia so long to invade Germany?
They were Stalin.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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