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What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?
A spaghetto
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What's green, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree, could kill you?
A pool table!
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Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
Because it was a fun guy.
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My son needed help with his writing homework. 'Is it further or farther?' he asked me.
It's me, father, I replied.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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