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Why did the coach let the elephant play basketball?
He had already broken the bench.
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I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,
"I guess our plans are squashed."
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I've been accused of plagiarism
Their words, not mine
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My wife swiped our debit card on my butt crack.
She said "transaction denied, insufficient buns."
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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