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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers
so that they can let me down one last time.
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1
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A teacher says "Spit out your gum," and the train says "Choo choo choo!"
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Kid: Dad, can you teach me how to play chess?
Dad: Sure, let me pick up a board at the pawn shop.
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3
We all know where the big apple is.
But does anyone know where the Minneapolis?
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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