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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers
so that they can let me down one last time.
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Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
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What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?
Seizure salad
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
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