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Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
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My son flushed one of his shoes down the toilet, stopping it up...
It was a clog.
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My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in America. If I was born anywhere else...
My birthday would be 24/7.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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