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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
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Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"?
Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
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A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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What's the cheapest meat?
Deer balls, they're under a buck!
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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