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Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
He needed space.
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"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
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I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job.
"Which companies are after you?" my boss asked. "Gas, electric and cable" I responded.
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Irony.
The opposite of wrinkly.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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