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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook...
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios.
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What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him in chess?
Check Matey
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My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down..
Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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