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What do you call a very crusty egg?
Eggzema
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My wife won't come to Mexico with me.
She thinks I will try tequila.
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A cop just showed up and arrested our dog!
He had some unpaid barking tickets.
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Why was the calendar depressed?
Because it’s days were numbered!
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
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