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What's the difference between a primary care doctor and a specialist?
One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
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The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
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Yesterday I walked in on my girlfriend in bed with her personal trainer
I told her, "This isn't working out"
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Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?
Inflation
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
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