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I dated a girl with a lazy eye once
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side
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A guy tried to sell me a mirror but I knew it was a scam.
I could see right through it.
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If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
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A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks,
"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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