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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
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Living on earth is expensive
But at least you get a free trip around the sun each year
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What do you call a bear that travels between the north and South Pole?
A bi-polar bear
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
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