The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

Previous Dates

0

I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

0

What did the painter do when it got cold...

1

Dad: when I was your age I ran a maratho. Son: you mean marathon.

0

Time flies when you're having fun.

1

I ran over 5 miles today

0

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

0

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture

0

Where does an electric cord go to shop?

0

If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called?

0

The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear...

0

What do you call a cheese that isn't yours?

1

What superhero gets hurt the easiest?

1

What do you call a slow moving poop?

0

I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help

0

Did you hear about the guy who ate bananas whole?

0

What do you call a fat psychic?

3

Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

0

What kind of shoes do spies wear?

0

Call me a taxi!

0

June’s over?

-1

What do you call a noodle that doesn’t drink?

0

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

0

Why shouldn't you shower with a Pokemon around?

0

Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight.

0

People say I have equivocal thoughts

0

As my Dad used to say, “when one door closes, another one opens.”

0

The other day my best friend met his fate after accidentally falling into a printing press at work.

0

After 20 years of working on it, I finally finished my physics book.

-1

I'm a walking economy. My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,

0

What do you call a witch who lives in the desert?

0

[Walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough,