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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”
My therapist: Yes, I see that. Stop calling me Diary.
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today
Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.
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What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
“GRRRAAAIINS!”
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Q: What's the worst thing about ancient history class?
A: The teachers always Babylon.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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